Joke of the Week....

I thought I would Post a Court Joke because of my last post :)





A man called to testify at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest.

"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."

The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?!"

"Simple", replied the Priest...

"It doesn't matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"

Nik goes to Court

Funny thing that....

Lets start from the beginning. As most of my blogger friend know I work at a Apple Computer store called Macdocs. We have a lot of unsavory characters that always try and take advantage of the small business that we are. As try to get things for free. We take a lot of measures to make sure that we don't get ripped off.

When I first started working at Macdocs there was a Gentlemen that came into buy a few things....about 6k worth of things. He wanted to pay with an Out of State check so I went to my Manager and asked him what to do. He said just take the check and everything will be fine. Well it was a bad check. We both got written up for it and well if caused a lot of heart ache.

Unfortunately stuff like this happens a lot. But because this was a first offence and they made such a big deal out of it I have always remembered this specific case. I will not say his name or anything in fairness.

Well about 2 weeks ago my boss Russ opened some mail and I have been sapena'd and I have to appear in court. He commented that it was for Mr. Criminal and I immediatly said I think that was the guy from when I first worked here. He agreed and I did not think much more about it.

When I got to work today bright and early for the meeting I recieved a call from Russ. He said "Nik I am down at the court house and they lawyer said he wants you to come down here and testify." I mentioned my concern that I need my hours to get paid but if they want me to I will. He called back to say that I have a Sapena on me as well but they sent it to my old address. He came a picked me up and I went a few blocks down to the court house.

After we got through Airport Security I went to the Court Room and waited for the trial to start. It was like a fast food court process. There was maybe 3 other cases that the Judge did quickly. One dude pleaded guilty to charges of having Child Porn on his laptop. There was a Woman who wanted to change her name and another woman for something I could not hear. At that time the lawyer came over to us and mentioned that had plead no contest and that we could go home if we wanted we decided to stay and see if.

He came out in his Shackles and it gave me a small sense of pleasure to see him all tied up and in a prison jump suit. The judge said that they would schedule another hearing and that was the end.

The lawyer said the Defence was going to try a defence that stated he was "insane and could not write good checks" but I think they are grasping at straws with that one.

So I may need to appear in court later this month but I thought I would share my entertaining day with you all!

Feliz 18 de Septiembre!

Today is Chilean Independence Day! It always brings joy to my heart. I will be wearing my chilean soccer jersey and going to the chilean deli here in Salt Lake in Celebration. It is always fun to remember the people dancing the Cueca and eating Empanadas. It was such a fun experience to see all the flags and banners covering the streets and showering us with its glory. In 1810 Chile joined other Spanish colonies in breaking political ties with Spain. On September 18 of that year, celebrated thereafter as the Chilean independence Day! Bernardo O'Higgins was a nationalist rebel that fought for independence from Spain. He is a National Hero in Chile



If you look at last years post you can see videos of people dancing the Cueca!

VIVA CHILE!!

Joke of the Week....

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."

I died a little inside today!

The USANA Amphitheatre show in West Valley City, UT, originally scheduled for August 27, 2008 has regretfully been cancelled. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused anyone and appreciate everyone’s understanding during this difficult time. Refunds will be issued to all ticket holders at the point of purchase.

http://www.usana-amp.com/events/2008/8/27/36

In a world of movie trailers, Don LaFontaine was king

Don LaFontaine, the man who provided the sonorous voice for more than 5,000 movie trailers, died Monday at age 68.

LaFontaine died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles of complications from a collapsed lung. He had been taken to the hospital Aug. 22 with a blood clot in the lung.

LaFontaine was known as the "king of the movie trailers," having done the trailer voiceovers for films such as Terminator, Fatal Attraction, Cheaper by the Dozen, Batman Returns and his personal favourite, The Elephant Man.

His baritone voice and melodramatic delivery are famously associated with the oft-repeated movie trailer phrase, "In a world…"




Here is a video about him....it is long...but the first part is really awesome!

Michael Phelps Wins Olympics, Still Can't Beat Dolphins

Michael Phelps has won the Olympics. Not just swimming events -- Michael Phelps has won the entire Olympic games (even badminton).

OK, maybe he didn't win badminton, but his accomplishments are still outstanding. However, Phelps has yet to best man's real competition in the water. That's right -- it's time to take on sea life.

FACT: Michael Phelps swims at approximately 6 mph.

FACT: Dolphins can swim up to 33 mph.

CONCLUSION: There are still hurdles to be cleared, Mr. Phelps (though we're pretty sure he won the gold in the 100m hurdles as well).



Enjoy your victories while you can, because if dolphins have their way, they'll be waiting to see you in 2012 with Team Atlantis tattoos on their backs.